Episodes
June 9, 2022
117. Alice Liddell in Wonderland and Dance Marathons
Hayley tells us Alice in Wonderland was a real person, and the whole story is just one big creepy detail. Yeah, this is not a fun lesson. Drink every time we say “disgusting.” Then, Kat reminds us that humans have always bee…
June 2, 2022
116. The Gin Craze and Who Let The Dogs Out
Kat covers the Gin Craze where you can get drunk for a penny or dead drunk for 2 pennies! Gin and tonic, to know her is to love her. But some people loved her a little too much. Next, Hayley quieries, who let the dogs out? I…
May 26, 2022
115. Caligula and The Stomach of Alexis St. Martin
Hayley covers Joffrey Baratheon’s inspo: the Roman Emperor Caligula. Like and follow for his cute nighttime skin care routine of almost murdering his bestfriend and donate to us on Patreon so Hayley can be exiled to an islan…
May 19, 2022
114. Refrigerator Cats and Hypnosis
"Rats and cats" was the 1800s version of chain email, a simpler time when reliable sources were travleing men and evolution occured in 5 generations or less. Kat teaches us how one rumor about cold storage pest solutions swe…
May 12, 2022
113. Mesmerism and Polgar Sister Prodigies
Franz Anton Mesmer discovered that the antidote to all mammalian ailments is a magnetized rod. Isn’t it weird how women always seem to need healing between their thighs? Then, it’s time to FIDE for your right to play chess! …
May 5, 2022
112. Stigmatics and The Death of Ken McKelroy
Of all the ways to evangelize, stigmatics chose the scariest way. Kat delves deep into “an amount” of scientific research on the stigmata condition which produces mysterious wounds corresponding to the Christian wounds of J…
April 28, 2022
111. Oak Island Mystery, Kappa Cryptid, and Coincidences
When sugar mommies call, we listen! Alec delivers a specially requested sequel to his Patreon treasure hunt lessons with the Oak Island money pit mystery. Is pirate treasure there, or is it one of the History Channel’s class…
April 25, 2022
BONUS: The Forrest Fenn Treasure (Part 1 & Part 2)
Kat & Hayley are sharing these two classic Night Classy Patreon episodes, previously only available at This double feature is a combo of two substitute episodes taught by our wonderful producer Alec Ogg. Part 1 (recorded in…
April 21, 2022
110. The True Crime Obsession and Rabies
Public executions are a thing of the past, so it’s a good thing we have murder podcasts. Why does true crime slap so hard? Hayley’s here to tell you! Then, grab your Nikes because we’re running for a cure- for rabies! Rabies…
April 14, 2022
109. Houska Castle and The Roswell Incident
“Houska Castle: Built By Ghosts, For Ghosts!” Kat tells the mysterious tale of how this nonsensical castle was constructed over Czech Republic’s very own crevasse to Hell. Not even the elixir of life can save you! Next up, H…
April 7, 2022
108. Nellie Bly Undercover and Danny LaPlante
Hayley asks the question: “What are girls good for?” If you said infiltrating a psych ward to expose its abuses and catalyze change, you’d be right! Nellie Bly was a glass ceiling-breaking stunt journalist who knew how to pa…
March 31, 2022
107. Deadly Nightshades and Vikings
2 in the light shade, 1 in the stinking nightshade! Hope you’re not too shocked by Kat’s lesson on deadly nightshade plants with beautiful names like ~nicotine~ and ~potato~. Because it’s true, toxins could be right there in…
March 24, 2022
106. The Pockmarked Man and The Flying Spaghetti Monster
This one goes out to the dark angels! Hayley tells the horrifying story of “the pockmarked man” who terrorized Paris for a decade. To avoid being murdered, don’t take shortcuts, never be a young woman, and if you have a help…
March 17, 2022
105. Feejee Mermaid and Burt's Bees
Can’t we all just say mermaids are real and get on with it!? Kat covers the Feejee Mermaid! Ok, so it’s not a mermaid but look at the monkey head sewn onto the fish tail and tell us it doesn’t feel right. And speaking of thi…
March 10, 2022
104. Body Farms and Cadaver Dogs
Check if your heart is still beeping... this may be the closest the two lessons have ever coincided! Kat covers forensic body farms where you may get a rigor mortis hard-on from the cat eating your ass. And if that doesn't m…
March 3, 2022
103. Weird Al Yankovic and CIA Inventions
If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then parody is a fucking honor. Weird Al Yankovic revolutionized rock with his accordion (because how else does one revolutionize rock?) and normalized calling out our partners…
Feb. 24, 2022
102. Falling in Love and Badass Bass Reeves
Inspired by her favorite genre of TV (trash) Kat presents the psychology of falling in love. With shocking revelations like “falling in love feels like being on drugs” and “you’re more likely to experience love at first sigh…
Feb. 17, 2022
101. East Coast West Coast Rivalry and Stoned Ape Theory
This week, Kat gives a crash course on the famed East Coast-West Coast hip hop rivalry of the 90s. Which came first: the shot or the song “Who Shot Ya?” Grab your roach spray and let’s go on a learny journey. Next, Hayley ta…
Feb. 10, 2022
100. Courtesan Baddie and Cemeteries
Shout out to the learny wormies and night cats who got us to our 100th episode! Delete your Seeking Arrangements account because Hayley is here to tell you exactly how to be a high class sugar baby- 19th century style. She m…
Feb. 3, 2022
99. The Executed Priest and Historic Beauty Trends
If you must monogram, monogram everything! That way, if your body ever washes ashore in a pillowcase, investigators will be able to track down your very specific monogrammed piece and solve your murder. Next, Kat outs hersel…
Jan. 27, 2022
98. Horse Diving and Rasputin
Kat teaches a lesson on horse diving, a performance so crazy and cruel that one man wanted to bring it back in the 90s. Who was that man? I’m sure you can guess. Next, he’s horny, he’s filthy, and he can see the future! Hayl…
Jan. 20, 2022
97. Stonehenge and the Misadventures of the Russian Baltic Fleet
Kat brings bath salts back with her lesson on Stonehenge, the very first gym. We ask the important questions so you don't have to ie: "So this is Easter Island Right?" and "What is wood?" Next, Hayley doubles down on the his…
Jan. 13, 2022
96. The Alaska Triangle and Toilet Paper
Hayley teaches that the Alaska Triangle is indeed a triangle and mysterious things happen there. Triangles have 3 sides and Alaska has whales, cold weather, the Iditarod, and shapeshifters. Next, Kat reminds us that poop jok…
Jan. 6, 2022
95. Lobotomies and Lake Lanier
Alcohol shot to the brain, and lobotomy’s to blame. You give mental health services a bad name. But other than scrambling brains and tampons soaked in Svedka, it’s all good! Learn about primal neurosurgery then cleanse your …